Past, Present, Future...?

You know something I've realised?

Some of us live too much in the past. Good memories, bad ones... The past is GONE and isn't gonna return you know... Why do we still waste our time on it?

Some live too much in the future. "When I grow up I shall..." ; "in the future i will..." ...hey its okay to dream, but are we just dreaming? Thought/ Dreams without actions are dead, you know...

And the question that is worth all our thoughts...ho many of us are living in the present... Now? Do you see the happenings around you? The flowers blooming? Your family needing your love, support, encouragement? The smile on your loved ones faces?

Maybe its time for us, while occasionally reliving the past and dreaming bout the future, to also pay equal attention to the NOW that is happening,whether we know it or not. To learn to forgive, to give, to LOVE. I know I'm not perfect, but I am trying.

Oh, by the way, I really love Monsters.Inc. Not sure why. Really love this picture, it really touches me when I see (and re-see) it, the wormth, love, and the impossible becoming possible(how can humans n monsters... u get the idea =D)...I gleaned it from facebook stickers. So thank you facebook (stickers)... *grins


I wanna learn to love you more each day...and I'm forever and assuredly yours

TAGGED

tagged.

by my dear bro chee kin


Part 1: On the Outside

Name : LEE HWEE MENG, JOANNE

Date of Birth : 3rd January 1989

Current Status : In a loving relationship

Eye Colour : Brown

Hair Colour : Black with a strip of brown-turned golden hair

Righty or Lefty : Righty

Zodiac Sign : Capricorn


Part 2: On the Inside

Your Heritage : Chinese

Your Fear : Hmm not going into this one

Your Weakness : Haves own way of doing stuff n firm while doing it...people don't seem to like this.

Your Perfect Pizza : Aloha chicken with juicy pineapples with NO ONIONS (with the exception of deep fried ones...)

Part 3: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

Your thoughts first waking up : What time is it?

Your bedtime : 1.00am

Your most missed memory : The beautiful times spent with good friends... *sighs

Part 4: Your Pick

Pepsi or Coke : Pepsi

McD's or Burger King : McDonald's

Single or Group Dates : Versatile

Adidas or Nike : Either...Neither

Lipton Tea or Nestea : Natural works best =).

Chocolate or Vanilla : Vanilla( ice-cream from Mc-D), chocolates is awesome too^^

Cappucino or Coffee : Cappucino

Part 5: Do You . . .

Smoke: No, and I never will. There are better ways to die,not to mention not so painful.

Curse : Extremely rarely, unless triggered beyond control.

Drink : Yep, and I do control as to not get drunk.

Part 6: In the Past Month

Drank alcohol : A few days ago

Gone to the mall : Yesterday

Been on stage : Nope not past month but months yes...

Eaten sushi : Nope cant say its my favourite

Dyed your hair : Nope the golden brown will be the last...for now at least

Part 7: Have You Ever?

Played a stripping game : Nope

Changed who you were to fit in : Yup,but not really. I like the quote: "You were born an original, don't die a copy."

Part 8: Age

You're hoping to be married : Around 25-28

Part 9: In A Guy/Girl

Best eye colour : Brown as Blue and brown eyes make brown eye babies, Chee Kin...Dominant alleles...

Hair colour : Black

Short or long hair : Short (Oi, talking bout a guy here...)

Part 10: What Were You Doing?

1 minute ago : Sambil eating nasi ayam sambil doing this tag! (Thank you Chee kin =p)

1 hour ago : Breakfast, newspapers...

1 month ago : Prom night! Hehe

1 year ago : threw away school uniform...? (among other things)

Part 11: Finish The Sentences

I love : God, family, friends and how could I forget my darling ? Hehe

I feel : All things happen in life for a reason...

I miss : Schoolmates, college mates, the good and fun times together with all my awesome frenz n family... ... ...

I need : To trust the Heast when I don't see the hand

Part 12: Tag 5 People

Wendy Low
Jade
Sabrina Ong
Yi Ping
Carmen Ong (?)

In quiet contemplation...

Year 2007 has nearly come to an end, bringing with it lots of fond memories. Things that I never thought could happen ,things that happen beyond control, the tear, joy, frustration, heartache and pain...Part of Growing up, I presume.

First things first, this is long overdue. I thought of only posting this later,but this is late enough...more than 5 days already. Thought of getting the confirmation letter first, but decided at long last(now) that a phone confirmation is more than sufficient.Yep, those who know what I am talking about...PRAISE GOD! I finally got my IMU offer, which I have been ranting on and on about...And all glory goes to God Almighty above. Truly He will make a way where there is no way, He works in ways we cannot see nor comprehend.

And my childhood dream of reading medicine has officially come to pass, although at many points of time I did not have the faith that I was gonna make it. Thats why all the more, glory to the Highest. Just like the sun rising to illuminate the earth from its darkness, I feel like my whole world had just opened up before me; the opportunities, the challenges, the road ahead...
Isn't the pre dawn beautiful? The beautiful piece of artwork just points towards the creator,the handicraft of His workmanship... And just like the pre dawn, I believe there is more to come...
And at sunrise,the little rays of sunlight just prance around, eager to shine across the world...Isn't it like the spirit of a child,so much to offer, and the limitless amount of joy and light that overcomes the ugliness of the sin marred world and floods the humankind with love, peace and joy...?
This picture may seem really odd here, but you know when I saw it, I was drawn to its sheer beauty and the fact that no matter how we humans may try, we will fail to recreate the majestic beauty of nature. It is humans who plant, and humans who water, but not us that causes the growth... Reminded that though we walk through the valleys of the shadows of death, You will be with us...You will lead us to the green pastures, the quiet waters...He restores my soul...
I will trust in You. Wherever You may lead, I will go.

Mathematical Equations...for Relationships?

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
____________ _________ _________

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
____________ _________ ________

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
____________ _________ ________

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
____________ _________ ________

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
____________ _________ _________

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
____________ _________ _________

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
____________ _________ ________

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
____________ _________ ________

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Stuff

It was still not easy for me to come to terms with the rejected offer from IMU. Countless times I found myself staring into space, absent mindedly doing something,thoughts wandering back to the same issue... There was disappointment, and many times the battle went on, the battle to believe and trust God that He has better plans for me.

All who knew told me the same thing : All things will work out for good... God has better plans... But the truth is, accepting it is really hard sometimes, especially when you can't see what is ahead, and you think you have it all under control. Yep, I asked, I struggled, I cried out to God, told Him that above my will, Your will be done. I guess this is my year end challenge... To give up what is dearest to me and trust that something better will God do... I told God: My dream is to be a doctor, but if that is not Your will, let Your will be done. I know, to give up my biggest dream is like, wow...

I was reminded of Abraham, whom God asked to sacrifice his son. Isaac must have been one of his most prized possessions, and I believe that he agonized, suffered...But he gave his son anyway (before God stopped him, that is). Joseph and Job were examples of men whom God took away everything, dumped in strange and unknown places, both suffered... But the common factor in these 3 men's lives was that What happened later was even better than before, greater than the beginning...One became the "Father of all nations", the other two God blessed many many times more than what they already had(and lost). Family, health, wealth, position, power... I asked myself, can I give up this "big" plan of mine...for something better? Some had a choice( like Abraham), some did not (Joseph and Job). Mine is more like the 2nd, and much as I hate to admit it, I know that if I did have the choice, I would have taken it even if I knew it wasn't His will. Thats how imperfect I am. And I guess, thats why God did what He did.

And really, I've got so many things to thank God for...my constant encourager and best friend, the one who is always going the extra mile for me, the one who could detect even the slightest hint of "hey something is not right" just through my message... The one who so patiently and lovingly reassured me that everything is gonna be alright, and reassured me of God's unchanging love and his own... I thank God for the special someone He gave me that always managed to create a smile through all the tears...And just as I feel that my world "came crashing down" (a little exaggeration, not so teruk of course), I am reminded that there are people who are different, who care about the little things happening in my life, just like I do in others, who are not willing that a single incident affect me to the extent of losing my drive and will in life...

I know God will never leave me nor forsake me. After all, I am His. I am his child. And I am constantly reminded that God wants only the best for me, just like any parent to a child. And I have "a hope and a future,plans to prosper me and not to harm me"... And just like the song (lyrics) below, which God so graciously gave to me by divine appointment, He told me that when I don't understand, and I don't see His plan, and I can't trace His hand, trust His heart....and this is my promise God, I WILL.


God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
And you don't see His plan
And you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart

Turn my Dissapointment into Joy

I guess I am disappointed. I expected the reply from IMU today,and crossing my fingers that it would be favourable to me...and when I heard that all who applied for pharmacy received conditional offers, a simmer of hope just arose. Maybe, just maybe...

But as my brother went out to take in the post from the postman, and passed it to me, my heart sank as I saw the thin envelope. Somehow the "one piece" of letter I knew wasn't what I hoped for. And the heartbeat that was profuse only moments ago just "died"...

It was like, stone...then I crumbled for a while. Uncontrollable emotions were flowing through, the dashed hope,the flame just sizzled...


But thank God my very best friend also my darling called me. Its times like this that I even more appreciate and feel touched by his unwavering and gentle love. Reminded me that all things will work for good, there are greater things ahead that we don't see. More than anything, he reassured me that he still loves me and would wait for me no matter what. I know I crumbled, I know I felt like giving up,but he did not allow me to. It all seems a little messed up, my train of thought, but so many thoughts are running through my mind...

Dear God, I don't understand. I can't see the hand. And my feelings failed, tempting to pull down my faith as well. But You saw me through the application process. You saw that I reached the minimum requirements to sign up to even be interviewed. And I believe that the interview went well. I believe that You were there all the time, and You are here now.

Thank You Father God that despite all the uncertainty, God You still are unchanging, and You love me. Thank You that I know You have something better in store for me, just like You always do. Thank You so much Dad,that the things that means so much to me, means just even more to You. Thank You that my relationship with Nicholas is still intact, that he still reminds me that he loves me and cares for me , forever. Thats why I'm reassured that this love is genuine, is real, is lasting, is forevermore.I just know. Coz I love Nicholas too. I thank You Dad, that the two most important relationships in my life, with You and with Nicholas just grew stronger, as You pulled me towards You and pulled us towards each other.Father God, I believe that all things work for good for those who love You... You have better plans for me.

And Father God so I surrender all I have and all I am into Your hands, my future, my life my all. Use it for Your glory. Turn my disappointment into something positive. I suddenly remember Sabrina sharing this verse that I've seen before, that "those who sow in tears will reap in joy". It is Your promise. After the rain there is the beautiful rainbow. I'm waiting Dad,expectantly. You can, and You will, intervene in my life, for Your glory. This is my confidence in You God,that You are bigger than the world, bigger than the circumstances, bigger than life,You are a God who does not slumber. And most of all, You are a graceful and loving God who loves the world, and loves me. I love You God,and I trust in You . My future is in Your hands.


Lead me to the rock higher than I....

Picture personality test...Addiction?

Was doing the picture personality test again,on facebook. Its pretty interesting .(At least, I think so) The original results and the 2nd time results were 50% different.

Initially, I thought like, you know,the first time's one should be more accurate. Which should be. But you know,you can't deny the fact that we humans change. And we humans are emotional beings. So what I am saying is, we all have a little bit of everything (unless,like in my case, my temperament and interests did not change), and our mood at the point of time influences our choices we make.

But whatever decision, or choices we make, be it small, important or not, should be done with careful thought. Coz many things in life are irreversible. You may, in the heat of the moment, say something that hurts a friend...and live to regret that. Sure,you can say sorry, but you may have opened a wound that took years to heal in just a split few seconds...

Hahaha,why am I talking bout all these? I guess I was provoked by the fact that people around us do care bout what we do,say, our actions, and the choices we make directly and indirectly affect them. But so long as we have other's interests at heart, and do things which we know we will not regret later, then it should be fine. =)

My first time results:

Temperament

Idealist

You are the quintessential dreamer - spending more time thinking about the possibilities that the world holds for you, rather than your reality. You don't settle for anything less than what you truly desire and you work very hard. You tend to live in every place except the present - you are prone to daydreaming about the future and re-thinking the choices you made in the past. Sometimes you get overly caught up in your thoughts.

Interests

Simple

You are continually pursuing a simpler and less complicated life - you don't allow yourself to fall victim to all of the "should do's" that society continually bombards you with. You are thoughtful about your life choices and think in terms of yourself, others and the world in which we live. You have a great sense that we are part of something much bigger and we must be good to others, if we want others and the world to be good to us.

Amusement

Thoughtful

You are easily stressed out and overwhelmed - you need to take care of yourself first and foremost. Because you tend to be self reflective, you know your limits quite well and must remember to not exceed those limits. When you overwhelm your life with obligations and responsibilities, you tend to shut down and go into yourself even further. Take some time to find your serenity and kick back your feet.

Passion

Romantic

You dream of the perfect companion, lover and partner. Your passions can go from 1 to 100 in mere seconds - when you fall in love, you fall quickly. But you tend to fall out of love quickly too which can leave you feeling empty, disillusioned and unhappy. You don't have to leave your passions behind, but the next time that you fall in love try to move a little bit more cautiously than you usually do. You'll be happier and safer this way.

My second time results:

Temperament

Idealist

You are the quintessential dreamer - spending more time thinking about the possibilities that the world holds for you, rather than your reality. You don't settle for anything less than what you truly desire and you work very hard. You tend to live in every place except the present - you are prone to daydreaming about the future and re-thinking the choices you made in the past. Sometimes you get overly caught up in your thoughts.

Interests

Simple

You are continually pursuing a simpler and less complicated life - you don't allow yourself to fall victim to all of the "should do's" that society continually bombards you with. You are thoughtful about your life choices and think in terms of yourself, others and the world in which we live. You have a great sense that we are part of something much bigger and we must be good to others, if we want others and the world to be good to us.

Amusement

Adventurous

It's a good thing that you are filled with energy and ambitions (that others sometimes find exhausting) because you're continually looking for a new adventure and exciting experience. You struggle with a continual feeling of restlessness which constantly pushes you to the next level of excitement. Once you have accomplished one thing, you are eager to accomplish something more exciting, riskier and distinguishable.

Passion

Emotional

For you passion is less about romance and sex - it's more about friendship and family. Strong emotional bonds and connections are your passion and your pleasure. You always let your loved ones know how much you love, respect and admire them. You do this through kind words, loving actions and simple gestures. You count your blessings each day and express your love openly. You expect the same from others.

My third time results:

Temperament

Idealist

You are the quintessential dreamer - spending more time thinking about the possibilities that the world holds for you, rather than your reality. You don't settle for anything less than what you truly desire and you work very hard. You tend to live in every place except the present - you are prone to daydreaming about the future and re-thinking the choices you made in the past. Sometimes you get overly caught up in your thoughts.

Interests

Simple

You are continually pursuing a simpler and less complicated life - you don't allow yourself to fall victim to all of the "should do's" that society continually bombards you with. You are thoughtful about your life choices and think in terms of yourself, others and the world in which we live. You have a great sense that we are part of something much bigger and we must be good to others, if we want others and the world to be good to us.

Amusement

Thoughtful

You are easily stressed out and overwhelmed - you need to take care of yourself first and foremost. Because you tend to be self reflective, you know your limits quite well and must remember to not exceed those limits. When you overwhelm your life with obligations and responsibilities, you tend to shut down and go into yourself even further. Take some time to find your serenity and kick back your feet.

Passion

Emotional

For you passion is less about romance and sex - it's more about friendship and family. Strong emotional bonds and connections are your passion and your pleasure. You always let your loved ones know how much you love, respect and admire them. You do this through kind words, loving actions and simple gestures. You count your blessings each day and express your love openly. You expect the same from others.

Can you believe it? I did it for the fourth time, and the results still shows some difference!

Temperament

Idealist

You are the quintessential dreamer - spending more time thinking about the possibilities that the world holds for you, rather than your reality. You don't settle for anything less than what you truly desire and you work very hard. You tend to live in every place except the present - you are prone to daydreaming about the future and re-thinking the choices you made in the past. Sometimes you get overly caught up in your thoughts.

Interests

Simple

You are continually pursuing a simpler and less complicated life - you don't allow yourself to fall victim to all of the "should do's" that society continually bombards you with. You are thoughtful about your life choices and think in terms of yourself, others and the world in which we live. You have a great sense that we are part of something much bigger and we must be good to others, if we want others and the world to be good to us.

Amusement

Thoughtful

You are easily stressed out and overwhelmed - you need to take care of yourself first and foremost. Because you tend to be self reflective, you know your limits quite well and must remember to not exceed those limits. When you overwhelm your life with obligations and responsibilities, you tend to shut down and go into yourself even further. Take some time to find your serenity and kick back your feet.

Passion

Physical

You are a cuddle bug - from a warm hug shared with your best friend to steamy sex with your partner, you enjoy every bit of human contact that you can get. You demonstrate your love for others most fluidly through physical one-on-one contact and you feel the most loved when you are being touched. You feel disconnected when you are physically isolated from others. You're a people person and a lover of all things human.

So I guess I can conclude that I am Idealist, Simple, Thoughtful... Tho my passion remains to be seen. Hahaha! But personally, I am a romantic person + emotional, (can't tell which is more I'm afraid)...

But these are just an indication, just a game! You can't change who you are(at least not through tests like these =p)So, Don't get too addicted,like me! Hahaha =)

In the quietness

I'm not sure why,but my spirit is quiet,as if after a rain and storm...Perhaps this is what makes the rainbow,the myriad of tears refracted...


But I guess its in the quietness that a resolution is made, in the quietness of the heart that is still,comes real strength. The strength that reveals itself in the most trying times,the "never-give-up" and "Never-say-die" spirit... The courage that pulls one through all the deep and dark valleys,the confidence and hope that the final destination,no matter how far away,can be achieved, and the hope that never fails. Trials produces perseverance, perseverance produces character,and character,hope. Faith is seeing what we hope for,the reward of faith is getting what we hoped for. Something like that. But its by faith that we will pull through.

And these valleys,they aren't permanent. Its a season. After one climbs the valley, one reaches the peak. When one looks down,the countless amount of tears and sweat of toil, they are worth it.Coz in life,sometimes shortcuts don't work. The road taken,of pain,perspiration and hard work have proved to be more fruitful.

And I waiting to stand before the world,and to say: I HAVE MADE IT"


Draw me close
Draw me close to you
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear you say that I'm your friend
You are my desire
No one else will do
Cause nothing else can take your place
To feel the warmth of your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to you

You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know you are near