"Sometimes solutions aren't so simple.
Sometimes goodbye's the only way."


I know I have a lot to be grateful for.


To begin with, I gained a brother. I didn't lose anything.


My friends had been more than supportive.
Its nearly impossible to sit in pbl9 with sooky, Chelsea and tej and not burst into constant laughter. Tej is so stingy lol! Ang pow apparently he would only give me RM2.50. lols! Although the hard part was eating the nasi goreng cina ordered by WaiHoong. My granparents, Sooky and Tej, + Aunty Chelsea made me eat. lols. it was one of the hardest meals. It really had no taste. Usually, I'll want the uncle to give me more rice. Today, I just feel that the rice was too much.


So half a packet of nasi goreng cina was consumed. The rest...I just could not touch it. It was by pure force that everything went down. Although I admit the whole night I was experiencing oesophageal reflux. and waking up feeling nauseated and feeling like vommitting.


Went to carrefour. wanted to bowl. there was a tournament and all the lanes were booked, so din. bought socks (coz din bring). went to pyramid instead. again the lanes were booked -_________________- . i so wanted to bowl, honestly. Wanted to take my mind off things. And I bought the freakin pair of socks that cost RM4.90!!! coz i coudn't bear to wear the kid like cute socks that were more than 2 times cheaper.


Went to zenmai. Chicken Katsudon. 3/4 finished. Good I guess. hahaha. had wasabi eating challenge. Tej, Derrick and Eldwin was super...hilarious to watch. Rakib and Damien no less. Har har har. Their expressions were just...priceless. I tried too. slight bit of tearing...but otherwise ok. my tongue got desensitized very fast, plus I managed to swollow in time. Sorry guys, mine wasnt fun to watch, I know. Lols. Then the lame games.... bang bang, aunty mary, follow me etc. So silly. But fun. also tiring. my mind just wasnt the usual me. half the time I just felt too tired, too lazy to even think of the game's mechanics.


Endah Parade and Sunway Pyramid held many many memories for me. it was like ... deja vu going there again. I think it did not take a genius to realise i was pensive more than half the time. was thinking. something would draw me back to the shadows of the past.


Anyway, Tej, Eld, Ruby and Sooky, a big shoutout to you guys. for trying to prank scare me (don't u ever do that agan, Tej! ) , just taking care of me as a lil sister, staying up with me till 4.30 am (lol you weren't the only one who missed class today, Ruby) , and just...being there time and again. Watching not just my emotions, but physical health. (you rock la sooky). You guys really are the reason I'm still sane. I don't think time has ever passed this slowly(yet so fast) before. And I appreciate each moment you guys ( and all) spend with me. Just a hug, trying to make me happy. Just listening to me rant/ pepper u with nonsense smses. Lagging behind to make sure I don't get lost. and much more. The emotional support.


I know I'm still "emo". Will take a while, but I'll be fine. The thing is, I'm not living to please a particular someone... I will be the Joanne I am. the person I am inside. Not a shadow. Not a mask. Not a reflection. But a true me.