Struggles

My blog has been like, dead. For at least a few years, and I know it.

During these times, I feel like I've changed alot - from the assertive, confident , bashful me to a less certain, wishy-washy, constantly apologoising me. I've changed, and I don't know if it is for the better.

I used to think I know what comes next, I know what to expect, and I know what life is about( How ignorant and how arrogant). However, as life throws me curveballs, I become more uncertain as time passes me by, leaving me confused, muddled and torn inside. I can picture a pile of scrap trying to piece itself together but failing miserably.

I used to write thinking someone will read. Now I don't anymore, no one visits this dead blog anyway.

Now I know why people say that adult life is messy, is confusing, is about scheming... etc. How I long for the innocence of childlike faith. How I long to bee that look up and see only 1 option and know that that is the one for me.

I'm however, grateful. Grateful because I have God , grateful because I have my family, grateful to have my ever loving and ever supporting other half. Grateful that he is willing to carry my burdens, and share in my joy and pain. Grateful that I've found someone who loves me more than I love myself.


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Father God, I surrender myself to you. My burdens I give to You. Help me to make the right desicion, the desicion that honours You and helps me to walk into my future. The desicion that I can look back and thank You for no matter what. Give me the peace that surpasses all understanding. Help me to choose. In Jesus Name, Amen.