Tuesday, November 30, 2010

To You

me feels blessed and is grateful. Allow time for adjustment.

ktxbye :) 

Sunday, November 28, 2010

The Seremban Chronicles Continue...

Finally! Some pictures that I'm happily uploading :D

Cendol @Haji Sariff
Cendol(normal) was good. But the company was what made it worthwhile. :)

 Ellysyia @ Kampung Angkat Sejagong
Again I was placed in a semi-modern house...in a kampung. Haha. Anyway its true...that the villagers accept people with open arms and open hearts. And what we gave is nothing like what we got in return...be it the hospitality or care or even material wise. they may not have much, but they give freely...

MunYee@ KKS 
A super cute adorable girl whom I was able to "bond" with during her 1/2 hour visit to the clinic. She's 4, and her mum is only 19! Her hyperactive self and not-afraid-of-anything + cheeky personality reminds me of my past(or what I hear of my past)...

On a lighter and random note, the other 3 girls (instead of just 1 initially) in the seremban pink party house is officially "taken" aka attached... :D

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Monday, November 22, 2010


As I walked by Kenny Rodgers @ Seremban Jusco yesterday, I saw a girl that resembled closely(coz im really not sure) a patient who had been hospitalized for close to 1 month. She came in pretty sick, and slowly became better over the next few weeks, before she was discharged. 

That girl was eating, with her friends.

And suddenly I wondered how all "my" patients are doing. For all the time they stay in the hospital, all the time we painstakingly "stalk" their every history and do invasive investigations... our motive was, and will always be just to get them to get better, to be able to lead normal lives outside. 

...And maybe that's why I live. 

Thursday, November 18, 2010


Irony: the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning.  

How ironic that the things we say and who we are outside is so different from who we are inside. 

How I learnt the word:
friend:"....you? fat chance."
me: "oohh cool.. :)"
friend:"no dumbo, fat chance = slim chance"
me: "=.="
friend: now you know whats irony...

Its how when someone asks you: how are you? 
and you answer with a smiley face "I'm fine, thank you!" 

...When you're just dying inside

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Friends don't have an expiry date

Production date: - Insert date-of-birth-
Expiry date: Non-existent

...Because friends, especially good ones, don't have an expiry date. If I call you a friend, I'll never ever dump you aside / throw you away :) 

-Dedicated to those whom I call friends whether you're near, here, far, somewhere else... - 

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

It feels like Saturday

Case summary is a pain in the gluteus maximus. How many hours and days just agonizing over it, trying to write something coherant, something complete. annoyingness ><.

On the bright side, my computer's Avira has been UN-installed, and the annoying "trojan" that apparently when googled is a gimmick to make me buy the original product (Which kept appearing way too often) is now gone! :D no more annoying "virus detection" sound :D

Sunday, November 14, 2010

BAD-minton? not bad at all...

Just back from badminton. It was...actually fun despite my super resistance initially to go.

*pauses, lost for words*

you know the times where you've got so, so much hidden inside your heart but you open your mouth and no words come out?

This is one such time.

"He will cover you with his feathers, 
   and under his wings you will find refuge; 
   his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. "

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Walking Talking Laughing

Of uninterrupted long walks(by mosquitoes and what nots), beautiful nature, good friends, nice food, simple joys.

Somedays, much as I try I'm just not able to wipe that childlike grin off my face. :)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

And a piece of me just dies

When everything seems ok on the outside but the hurt is buried deep inside...

People say "move on" too easily. Its idiotic people whom hang on cause they they reminisce. They reminisce cause they poured out they life, their soul, their everything...

...And a piece of me just dies inside.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Sem 2's Survivor's story

This is dedicated to my beloved sem 2 friends (and juniors, which in this case is apt).

"Once upon a time, there was this girl who was wanted to "be a doctor". She was just fresh from college, raring to do medicine. She happily enrolled herself in none other than IMU.

Semester 1 came and went, with herself barely studying. The last 3 weeks before exams she "played slides" everyday. Summative 1 came. She passed...but barely.

Semester 2 commenced. She resolved to STUDY her ass off. Didn't even join orientation - only did first aid for the juniors. Studies? Oh, stress levels were high...probably synonymous to the pressure cooker enough to cook a huge chicken. He memory was somewhat like "Touch and go" - study and forget. Or rather, study and remember for 293seconds, then forget.

Believe me, it was one of the most stressful and painful periods of her life. All around her people asked each other simple questions - like "name me 3 features of the large intestine". and her mind will go blank, she'll panic. worst still, she was studying "randomly" - din't even know things in the study guide (wait, there was a study guide? :O )

She crashed. So. so many times. Tears, dark eye circles like nobody's business, zombie-ing days, no difference between nights and days... the routine was stare at notes / fall asleep / stare at notes/ go to toilet with notes... with no avail. (Since nothing was retained in the mind.). The fear of failure naturally loomed at the back of her mind, haunting her every thought and action...

So yes. that was the 3 month nitemare( or somewhere there). to cut the long story short, her friends ( a few of them) were her solidarity, who supported her through the whole "ordeal". The "library gang" would encourage each other, have dinner together from all the godness-knows-how-healthy-roadside-food and then continue studying till the Indian aunty will knock the cup rhythmically calling out "library closing! library closing!!!" ...

The exam came, and the exam went.

And she passed. Not by herself - by the grace of her God ; and also because of her amazing friends who were amazing enough to share and care unselfishly - not just knowledge but the social support of just being there for each other. The sincerity when one genuinely goes "oi you BETTER study" instead of "don't worry, i din't study also" which obviously would be a lie.  "

Hope. Faith. Love - Just hang on, finish strong!

I know I suck at writing. Bottom line is this - I've been there before, I know entirely how it feels. I'm the border line student who hangs on by bare thread thin line... I guess in the end, you just throw up your hands and go "I've done my best, this is it". As long as you know you've given it your all and you ever don't throw in the towel - to me that is success. Don't bother comparing with others - there will always be people better than you (and likewise, not as good). Do it for yourself, so that you can be proud of yourself. Do it for the hopes and aspirations of the future - your future patients deserve your time and dedication and hard work you put in now.

And don't lose sight of the whole picture - this is but temporary. Get through this and you will look back and ask yourself "How did I get through this!?" and remember it as a bittersweet moment. Of course, the 2 month holiday is a very good incentive to look forward to as well...

But ultimately ask yourself this question - Is it worth it? Because if it is, I'll give it my all, no holding back. 
And if you ask me, someone who has been through the crap of Phase 1 - it is definitely worth it.

There are better times ahead. Look forward to that.

a survivor
(Excuse her - she hasn't written essays for ages)