Thursday, October 30, 2008
Just bathed, washed hair AND dried it with the noisy noisy hairdryer. Actually, it was a relieve compared to the studying - which is the only thing done apart from sleep and eating. Just feeling the hot air dry my hair ( I rarely use it anyway), feeling so warm and comfortable. Hehe :) The simple joys =)
Sitting in the library each day... It will all end soon. Tomorrow , I think. Monday study for OSPE. Then it will all be over and done with. Oh wait, still got results...
Thursday today. 3 minutes to Friday. Then, 3 days countdown to EOS 2 , 2008, ME1/08. All the best to Sem 2 people - Medical and Dental. Persevere till the end, no regrets! :) We can do this together =) *hugs* everybody :)
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
These few days has been stressful, craazy, with many types of emotions running through all me. The amazing friends who never fail to amaze me with their unselfish spirit, freely offering help even in academic difficulties, friends with hugs and smiles... and words of encouragement...
"They were like giants, and we like grasshoppers in their eyes, and in our own sight."
Setting my eyes on the author and finisher of faith. David vs Goliath, David won. Who are we when we have God by our side? But everyone born of God overcomes the world...I am no exception
"We went into the land which you sent us and it does flow with milk and honey! But the people who live there are powerful and the cities are fortified and very large."
And to this I am asked... "Are you going to move into the land flowing with milk and honey - take the promises and make them yours? Or, are you going to believe the evil report and continue wandering around in the desert -- free from slavery, but missing the Promised Land? Whose report are you going to believe?"
You have called me to walk in victory. Help me to realize when I am listening to Satan's lies, "to the evil report," and not to You.
If I am the only person who believes in Your promises today, give me the courage to believe and walk forward in faith to what You've called me to do.
Just know you're carrying me through each time, I believe...
You were the lone footsteps in the sand,I was on your back...
EOS 12 days away. I can't say I'm prepared.
Stacks of notes sitting beside me. Piles. Clutters. Untidy. Strewn...
So much I don't know. And if not for good friends, so much more I din't realise I don't know. 1 note whole afternoon, with 100+ notes per semester. Less than 2 weeks. Felt choked, half crying feeling, but its choked back. Time's still ticking.
Renal. 3 notes. And yet, 3/4 day gone, just one done. Failure to plan is planning to fail. But it was just heart knowledge.
Discipline. Planning. Tidiness. So much I've got to learn, life's lessons. I don't know how I'm gonna pull through somehow.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
I just have a whole jumble of emotions in me. Fear, frustration, yet I can truly praise God. for the results of summative 2. I walked out of the exam hall feeling bad, but as the Q n A session proceeded...i could only say thank You God. All glory to You and You alone.
These few days have been a struggle. Counted the number of lectures to go, sem 1 has >1oo lecture notes I have to cover. I struggled to study since yesterday, the progress was close to nil. My fb status kept changing to mirror my frustration, and many beloved batchmates, pbl mates,seniors ( - Ailing, thank you for constantly encouraging me!)...and even senior from manchester, Angie - thanks so much dear! , and friends just commented, just encouraged each other. I think I need to not look too far ahead - take things one step at a time.
And I think dental students are amazing. They are studying twice compared to us - ours and their own dental syllabus. Hard core man.
But all said and done, its 2 weeks to the big test - EOS. I shall not even call it the killer paper...I believe my God is bigger than any paper, any challenge that can come my way. I'm learning to take notes 1 note at a time, to not let fear cloud me or eat me up. Not gonna live a life of fear, even tho the voice reminds me of times I've tried before and failed. Ultimately, just to live a life fully surrendered to God.
You're the God of this paper(eos), You're King of these people, You're the Lord of MeDt, You are.
I always loved sunflowers...its beautiful, its bright, it calls me to look up and see the beautiful sky and the sun...
You lead me in to Your courts
Surround me with Your love
I walk with You
I do not fear
In this place
Dreams are made
In this place
Where You are
Carry me here
In Your arms of love
Draw me close to You
I want to be where You are
I want to be where You are
You carry me, You are my strength
I've learnt to trust in You
And once again
I'm reaching out
Friday, October 10, 2008
Due to time constraints,this can only be a short post...
Coincidentally, this kinda marks our one year together :P
You're an amazing guy, friend, listener, encourager, baby... and much more :P I seriously think you're pretty lame at times...but well it comes with the whole package of 'you'...and I kinda asked for it anyway(in my ideal guy,all time favorite column- except I asked for someone "funny" :o)
hehehe, not sure what to write, though our one year,as you said, could have filled many books already. I guess I'll just let memories, let our emotions, and everything to come speak for itself :)
you're officially as old as me! muahahahaHappy birthday "cake" - not edible,of course :P
I love you :)
Dear God, draw this guy whom I love closer to You each day,bless him, enlarge his territory, protect him, guide him always, be with with him and let him stay in Your presence evermore. Thank you God for this love, between him and You, between us, between he and I :)
Monday, October 6, 2008
Deep deep down in my teeny weeny heart, I really really cannot describe what is going on. Can't explain why I close up, even to the people closest to me, the dearests. Can't express how much I feel inside each time I'm reminded of last year, just knowing that I have you to bug each time I'm unhappy, have you to smile at each time I see you, the funny little antiques, drawing of our names on each others hands, the hugs, you. Just you.
Tears are so super duper stubborn, rolling around my eyes, reusing to heed calls to back down. I used to pride myself being ice cold, but I guess I've never been so, and in Eunice's words - You take care of others, but given the chance you rather be taken care of.
I need to mug. I dun wanna be held back, wasting money, wasting time. Hopes and dreams dashed. I need to pull myself together, to tell myself that the dark comes before the dawn, that I musn't lose hope.
And yet, I dun feel I can. Sigh.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
I heart mamma mia. such an amazing musical/story. So daring, so crazy, so fun loving.
I'm not sure I would have invited all possible dad's - but I love the end that she gains 3 dad's in the end. My gosh! I had so huge reaction during many of the scenes that I'm glad in wasnt in the cinema, and ,my feet were pattering, I was close to song. I love music :) :) :)
Wall E's not bad either. "Get ready to have some kids!" "define earth. define sea. define dancing"..... Farnie la.
But my personal favourite is still Mamma Mia :) it rawks :) :) :)
Friday, October 3, 2008
I'm in med school. Reality.
I'm sinking. Mentality.
I havn't enough time. Fatality?
I have only myself to blame. I dun feel like a med student. Dun even feel like a student :(
Leeettttlllleeee brain of mmmiiiinnneee, won't you rise and shhhhiiiinnnneeee, soak up all the stuff nowwww, I'll give u a break at year end..... :'(
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
I don't know how to go on anymore. Nothing I've studied so far seems to stick. I feel my head is like an empty coconut shell. :(
I know challenges are inevitables, sometimes even rifts. I just wish it were easier.
I dun noe what to think. Just feeling downrite empty, hollow, emo.
Emo, Eno, Emo :'( :'( :'(