Monday, October 6, 2008

Deep down


Deep deep down in my teeny weeny heart, I really really cannot describe what is going on. Can't explain why I close up, even to the people closest to me, the dearests. Can't express how much I feel inside each time I'm reminded of last year, just knowing that I have you to bug each time I'm unhappy, have you to smile at each time I see you, the funny little antiques, drawing of our names on each others hands, the hugs, you. Just you.

Tears are so super duper stubborn, rolling around my eyes, reusing to heed calls to back down. I used to pride myself being ice cold, but I guess I've never been so, and in Eunice's words - You take care of others, but given the chance you rather be taken care of.

I need to mug. I dun wanna be held back, wasting money, wasting time. Hopes and dreams dashed. I need to pull myself together, to tell myself that the dark comes before the dawn, that I musn't lose hope.

And yet, I dun feel I can. Sigh.

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