What are you living for?

Gonna be a sob story. So move away if you want to. You are most welcome.

I remember my prayer yesterday - God i surrender everything to You. Use me as Your vessel even in the hospital... ...

Today I had to break the bad news to a patient that he had advanced cancer. He already suspected post the scan, because he noticed the radiologists were whispering amongst themselves. Then when the report came back late, he accused me of trying to hide his findings. He was adamant about going home TODAY, and din't wana wait another day so we could refer inpatient.

Turns out that he has a wife who is debilitated due to stroke, and a daughter busy working day and night. He was the main caretaker for the wife basically.

After all the huu-haa and the referrals that were unable to be made as the oncall people had their phones off, i sat next to the uncle and asked him how he was feeling,if he was ok.

And then the waterworks started..both his and mine. His more manly tears, barely rolling down his cheeks. He was visibly emotional,and 101 thoughts were running through his mind. Mine were the tears of a fellow human being,and it was as much ad I could do to keep my voice from breaking. I know the neighbouring bed and the other staff were staring and could see my eyes watery and me basically wiping away tears from my tear streaked, red face.

Later on I found out he shared the same faith and had the chance to pray for him. I din't know what to pray for..and in the end I prayed for peace and joy basically. I tried to remind the both of us that through the storm, God is sovereign.

And God is sovereign. When we don't understand the plan, we trust the Hand. Our bodies on earth expire, but in Him we have eternal life forever.

So what are we living for? I don't know about You, but I will live for Him.

And oh, watch what you pray for. He is listening. :)

December...or whats left of it?

No...this place isn't dead :D

Its just that mua has been busy, and many things /events have been happening.

Can't believe December shot by...got what, 2 days left?

Lets just say...mua needs to buck up. Like, seriously. Or else can throw myself into the ocean.

So yeah. Been experimenting on lots and lots of food, from chinese to western. I actually like cooking, using the oven...:D the only pains include preparation (like washing every leaf of each vege) and waiting for food to defrost because I am oh so impatient.

On my side, I've just started surgery. well, 2nd week into surgery already. Still feel like a rookie / noob/ newbie, apa pun tak tahu...






All things work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes...

passing thoughts

Different things remind me of different people I love and miss. I seem to see them (and then end up disappointed coz obviously its not them) so many places... :(

Internal Med

Internal Med

Actually like internal med. Then again, I expected I would like it. BUT, tbl's? different story.

Still much adjustment to be made. Still lost around wards (altho i do like it) but I would love to start doing procedures (like assisting in the ECG today, thanks to my nursing friend). So far cases I've seen have been pretty ok, really thank God for that. (I mean, I feel sorry for the patient. I'm just grateful I have the chance to see these patients to enhance my knowledge and experience).

Slowly my friends are leaving one by one. Ash leaves tonight, Sooky left already. Both UK pple. Now, our gang is complete here in s'ban, save for Sook. :'( But it's ok. Its not goodbye, I believe.

Learning to be generous and patient in dealing with life. By that I mean housemates / people etc. Learning to give and take, to smile and not take offences (compared to younger days?) and much much more. Learning humility and much much more.

Will update soonish. Have a safe flight Ash, you will be missed. Sook, I hope you're doing well there. Boring? we're crazy busy right now. But still miss you guys!

ps: during tbl today the patient's heart monitor sounds "tut...tut...tut..." sound was sorta "ringing" in my head. Does ward rounds do this to you?