Friday, August 31, 2007

50 years ago

Happy Merdeka!

50 years ago at this time, our country achieved independence, from all the colonizers and unwanted people. And now, we are a "Free" nation, not under anyone's control.

I guess it would be hard for someone who did not go through hardship to throughly and fully understand the meaning of "Merdeka". I mean, more than half the nation wan not alive during the Japanese occupation, even during the declaration of "Merdeka" . But then again, who say we love Malaysia any less?

I was thinking why I wrote all this, and I think its because much has been said about the patriotism of youths today. Which explains about National Service, and the fact that our SPM (our O-levels ) Bahasa paper last year had an essay question on patriotism. With that question, is it really possible to gauge the "spirit of patriotism" in youngsters today?

Well, much has been said on Malaysia, be it politically to economically.I will not risk being the next Namewee by saying something offensive or rather, sensitive. For those who don't know, I do love my country, where I was born and grew up in.

So i guess its time to end this blog on a happier tone:

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

How EINSTEIN Arrived at E=MC2

Check out this site. I stumbled upon it. Coming to think of it...Thank you Dan for whacking me each time I utter a negative word bout myself. I know I deserve it. Thanks Nick(and more) for encouraging me when I didn't feel at my best,when I felt I could not carry on cause I was worried bout one thing or another. To Rach, we WILL pass SAM with flying colours. You'll see. Cause we're not doing this alone nor by our own strength anymore. Thanks Pr Kenneth and Elder KY for always reminding me(us) that nothing is impossible...Thank you for encouraging me to dream. BIG.Thank you to the rest...Fel, CK, Pr Josephine, HE, Sarah F, CC and everyone else I lazy to mention...Thanks for walking this journey with me, encouraging, sustaining, (and rebuking as well, I know I need it many a time) me..I cant say enough but I really do appreciate it.

To that someone,maybe you're right. We should find a swimming pool, know the rest =)

Yeah, I want to have that ATTITUDE and MINDSET that is set for success, for revolution. I will have the confidence, the courage. I will have the faith. I will believe in myself once again. Cause you never gave up on me. And I know even when I walk and see only my shadow, you have never left me. When my hands hold only books while others hold another's, you have never stopped holding mine. Before I knew it you loved me, and and this is for eternity...till everlasting. Thank you. I've now got a reason to smile, a real smile that shines through the tears. =)


Not feeling at my best currently. Results stink, and you cant say Don't compare...coz TER IS about how well you did compared to others. I do, more than ocassionally, regret taking SAM.

Physics teacher was telling our class that only 2 people in our class had been "above average" all the while,and( surprisingly the class top isn't in it...there must be a mistake..) ,and hence our lecturer was worried bout our TER. FINE, I'm just worried. and depressed (at least, getting to be). I dunno what to say about myself, results getting worst by the minute . C-H-O-K-I-N-G! I shudder to think how my TER will be like at the end of the year!

Maths isn't getting any better. The more I look at it, the more I feel like uttering this statement: God, can I give up now? I know God is nice enough to send me friends willing to sacrifice their breaks for me, but as I cautioned my friend, I'm not the brightest person you could teach. People put in the same amount of effort and reap twice the results. Not complaining here, but just...just...I dunno. Who am I trying to kid here? Myself? Shudder to think what Commont Test 4 will be like. As it is, I'm completing questions WHILE looking at the answers. Not the best way to study, I know. But can someone teach me another more effective method? Sigh, I should have seen this coming...

Daren't think about my other subjects. Its just...not even "cukup makan". Study the coveted course? Open your eyes girl, be REALISTIC!

Still feeling lightheaded...cough should be getting better these few days(it HAS been more than a week, afterall). Da said I cant afford to get sick anymore, I have nothing to say, I guess.

Sometimes wish I could just start afresh, but somehow that isn't possible. What now? I'm not sure. Take things one step at a time?

Saturday, August 25, 2007

I'm not sure

I'm not sure of 101 things, probably more.

1.I'm not sure why I chose this as a blog.
2.Not sure why I'm born, the stuff I'm supposed to do.
3.Not sure why I'm so bored.
4.Not sure what I'm Really gonna do in the future.
5.Not sure of who my real friends are.
6.Not sure how long people can wear a mask,and keep it.
7.Not sure why the sky's not green or brown.
8.Not sure what's gonna happen tomorrow.
9.Not sure how long I have to continue living.
10.Not sure what life holds.

But I know who holds my future,whose in control.And I know even if I mess up time and again I can start afresh.
I guess maybe thats why the "not sure"s don't seem so scary anymore. =)

Thursday, August 23, 2007


Holidays are nearly over! And its been no fun =(

You see, I've been sick, and sickness is no play play business...Initially it was suspected Denggi, and wasn't fun, short and simple. Did not get up from bed the whole of Monday, just lay there, kepala very penning, temperature higher than 37.5 degree celcius...tossing and turning in bed, half the time drifting into fitful sleep.

You know what? When I was six, I had a miniature(and I mean miniature, as in palm size) tv set, which had a Garfield smiling sheepishly. I dismantled the set, and started my own talk show. By the way, I was in the back seat, dad was driving.

Says Garfield: Welcome to my show! Today's topic is...being sick! Its fun being sick! No school, no teachers...

*dad interjects from driving seat: getting sick is no fun! you suffer from sickness, and you still go back to school after that...and have to catch up on your homework...( that's bout all I can remember for now, it was long long ago, ya' know)

Garfield: ended...?!?

12 years later, I still gotta admit that my dad's right. Being sick is NO fun. Zaps my energy, my hype...

Thanks people. For hearing my fears, my complaints, my rambling and nonsense, for sharing my burdens. For messaging me, supporting me, encouraging me, sustaining me. I know life was not meant to be a one-man-show.

Thanks dad, mum, bro. For the continuous love and care since the day I was born till today. Words can never truly express how I truly feel.

Thank you. I am blessed because all of you light up my life.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Just saying

You know, its really really frustrating when you try hard, work hard...but don't achieve the results. The same goes for stuff that is beyond one's control. and then, the "what if..." and "if only ..." comes into mind.

But seriously, thats not nice, not nice at all. its not easy to see stuff you're uncomfortable about, yet can do nothing about. But you know what? The world was not fair to begin with, whatever you beliefs are...Adam and Eve sinning, Pandora's box, reincarnation... nope its not fair.

One thing I've learnt to stop looking for is justice on the surface of this earth. Thats because I know where my justice lies. It may not be now, may be later, but it WILL come. I know it. Bad guys may get away, contrary to what we read in novels or watch on movies, but thats only for NOW. I call this temporary. I don't believe evil will rule, whatever looks one's eye right now.

I am gonna look forward. Look ahead. Look past this time. I will rise up , and boy you may try, but u won't stop me. Coz I'm not alone. The Force is with me =)

Here I am again

Can't believe myself. Whats this? A blog? after all the foiled attempts?

o0ps, hello to you. Welcome to my fusion of colours (surprising that I choose BLACK as my background) , feel free to look around, leave CONSTRUCTIVE comments/suggestions, pepper my chatterbox *coming up soon* with stuffs..

Nuff for now. Chiaoz ~