3 years later...

 Today, I suddenly decided to visit my blogspot. Out of the blue , they say. 

It was a little nostalgic looking back at old posts, going, "wait, i said that?"

Some things have changed, some havent. Age is catching up, as evidenced by failing energy and the inability to stay awake at night. (you know, when you're 14, sleep is for the weak!!) 

Some havent, like how I'm still not confident, and how straight I am.

Some stuff have evolved. Like how life makes you choose who you want to be, and perhaps on the outside I look loud and opiniated (which I am), but there is just so much more inside of me that I long to share but have burried deep inside myself. The fact is that everyone is busy, not every one, and most , dont care.

I've learnt to accept ( and still trying at the moment) that I cannot please every single person, even the ones I love the most. To do that would require me bending in multiple directions, and as someone said "how many people do you want to be? X to theis person, Y to another? " . I've struggled with this the most, this pleasing people business. I know, I brand it "the non confrontational method". The reality is , there is a choice one has to make, and one will come to this point at one time or another.

Leaving this here because I've made a decision that may not seem popular and perhaps seems even cold. And the decision is hard...but I know it's gotta be done .

A legend

The man himself, Professor Emeritus Dr Alex Delilkan 

For the past 2 weeks, I was fortunate enough to meet a legend of the country, Professor Emeritus Dr Alex Delilkan. He's a former national cricket player who captained the country to many many victories, and also the anaesthesiology  professor from UM and also a visiting professor in my uni for many, many years now.

I sat through 2 Wednesdays with him, which reminds me alot of "Tuesdays with Morrie". The reason being these old gentleman have lots of stories and lots of wisdom to share, if you would only listen.  He was opinionated about so many things, from the political situation in this country all the way to the twinning programs of universities (haha, my uni for instance). The thing that struck m the most was how such a knowledgeable man like him could be so down to earth, and how he...wasn't rich :P

His constant joke (until it kinda got stale) was that he was so poor he had to eat mee goreng kosong coz uni's don't pay him enough. And yet what I found amazing about this guy was that he lives on his means, doesn't complain, and still works...at the age of 78!!(if I remember correctly) At this age most people are either old and sitting at home just watching the grandkids or rotting away... :O

Epic "Music"

1st day of O & G

"Examination of the pregnant mother".


Guess what the accompanying music was?

The Lullaby.


Epicness.
Guess thats why you can't blame anyone for falling asleep

Sem 7

And so, Sem 7 beckons this monday. Starting the posting ob-gy aka obstetrics and gynecology.


And not too sure if its something I really look forward to.

A whole load of jumbled up stuff

A whole load of jumbled up stuff 

Am feeling so dead tired at the moment. Nervous system is seriously sucking the life outa me. Not that I don't find it interesting...I do. but the lectures are all so so dense. On top of that, I'm 5 weeks to summatives and I'm not even touching MSK. Still got +- 8 notes in GI and renal just started off very slowly. I 'm NOT thrilled. 

Today I officially was relieved of my duties from Hydra House as its first secretary along with another super responsible and enthusiastic friend, Sook Yee. I'm glad that both of us managed to carry out our jobs well (I hope , at least). It was quite a bit of work initially, admittedly. And during the house cup, I had darts to worry about, and it took up a HUGE chunk of my time. I highly doubt I'll be doing it if I were in semester 5. I wish the new committee nothing but the best. But from the looks of it, it should be a good team and a good year ahead for Hydra. 

Hospital visit yesterday was...ok I guess. We met a patient with A HOST of problems. Its like whatever we ask he'll have positive "signs" (this pain that pain). but he was 81 years old, and an active sportsmen. When we asked him to bend down and touch his toes (as part of the Physical examination of the spine) , he said "1, 2, 3,4, 5, 6 you all challenge me? " in a joking tone...and bent down ALL THE WAY to touch the ground with ease. LEGS STRAIGHT. we were stunned. Later on when we tried ourselves we were not able to do it, and on top of that, was complaining of pain :P shame on us young people? 

At the same time, it was the 2nd time this semester going for hospital visit and having to stand for long hours. I really don't know how I'm to survive clinical school, especially the long hours standing and the early hours waking and late hours sleeping. Beats me. I often wonder how people do it...

And time and again I'm reminded by various things on how little time I have left in IMU BJ. Random friends status updates; the relieving of duties from the house; seeing my semester 1 juniors starting to study and semester 2 and 3 juniors studying hard...Many many things just trigger this thought and I can't help but sink into a basin of pensiveness. At least for a while. How have I done? Have I made a fool of myself? Have I hurt  more other's feelings more than I have made another happy? 

No one is indispensable, that I know. I don't expect people to remember me once I've left, but if there's one thing I hope I did, I hope I made someone feel that they are loved, no strings attached. I hope I did something that cheered up someone's day. I hope I was never stingy with hugs or time for any other friend. I hope I gave them reason to see why they are beautiful , special ,and one of a kind.

I am falling asleep. As usual , I sleep way before I want to. Today was not so productive. Tomorrow got pbl (research not done yet), and going for a run. That I'm looking forward to somehow. 

gp posting

GP(General Practitioner) Posting Day 1 - My Side of the Story

I just read a friend's comment that "GP Posting is a waste of time" on fb. Aha. Whether it is, or it's not, its a necessary part of IMU's medical education curricular.

Caution: This is going to be a picture-less post.

11-15th Jan, I'm "attached" to a clinic near my place, Dr Leow's Clinic.

The pro's:

- Doing attachment with a good friend, Ash definitely is the best :) I couldn't have picked a better partner. Lunch was fun, chit chatting and just talking bout anything - friends, love, relationships, our doctor, and many other things under the sun :)

- The doctor is "cute" la. Aha. In Ash's words, very "grandfather" like. The way he answers the phone with a strained "hallow"; the "kambing" (what people call donkey he uses goats instead XD) and the bs's .

- We can come and leave ANYTIME. like the doctor said, we're "not critical to the clinic's practice" XD

The con's:

- Waking up early. Don't like Don't like Don't like!!!

- Standing. I mean , we could get a stool and sit la. but then the place is like so small and cramped. Aha. We stood from 9-12.45 today in the morning, then a lil' more in the noontime.

Miscellaneous:

Let me tell you more bout our GP doctor. Hahaha. Firstly, he's really really nice. He allows you to ask any question :) And then when a patient comes in, he assesses the patient from a "clinician" point of view, and hence , the diagnosis commonly is "stress" and "allergy / irritable bowel due to stress".

Its very amusing as well that when we came back after lunch, we heard chinese oldies tunes playing, presumably from his laptop. (This doc is a tech junkie... he uses the comp for EVERYTHING. and he still has his old pc's dating back to pentium II and older still...lol). the music is the ones that people can use to "excercise" or "practice qi gong/ kung fu" with. You can imagine Ash and I trying our very best to keep our laughter in while listening to the music..and imagining people "hu" *sword waves* "ha" *steady tai chi strokes* XD

Lets see how day 2 goes :)