Been through a loooong week. Not a bad week, but tiring. Sleeping at 11.30 or earlier because of someone,but still, ulcers ulcers ulcers. i bit myself on the right cheek thrice, formed an ulcer that stayed 2 weeks till now, but the first week was horrible. the "cycle" isn't over yet... i bit myself thrice on the lower lip. there were 4 ulcers , but 2 joined together making 2 smaller 1's and a larger one. And the way it looks, another smaller one may combine to make 1 huge 1. I dowan :'( hurt like crazy, eat susah makes me choke coz weird eating style and more...
Been thinking alot. Well, a little. Many things, many triggers, many thoughts. How much I don't know what to expect in life. Many responsibilities which I take seriously, and feel a little like an acrobat, juggling the balls, only diference is trying to find a balance. Not easy and strength is limited. Looking at my messed up table, books, mostly notes and many other things strewn across, I can't help but shake my head at my disorganizement (if there is such a word).
The workload, the stuffs that comes along with living as a sem 2 student and more are no joke. many a times, I gotta just keep moving, just push myself to not give up. Routine, routine not...I dun noe.
And yet, looking at people on the streets, how they really can sing "You are my everything" as compared to us. They have no families, no home, no nothing... the little they have is their clothes on their backs, and a plastic bag with all their belongings. Some rummage bins for survival , all walk aimlessly , just finding a place for them to rest their heads at night... the streets become their home, the five foot alleys and deserted backlanes are their resting beds. and even they are robbed. They can truly sing with their hearts...but us? When we sing "You are my everything", we have more than enough food, bedding, clothes, shelter, houseload and trucks even of things... its not wrong, its good to be off the streets...but does all these call us to strive for more? in the society today, "enough" isn't enough. more. then unethical ways are used to obtain more, the more that people do not need.
Our life can be also described as a boat on the surface of the sea. When the waves are strong, current is pushing ,the boat moves forward so much, the next day it'll end up miles and miles away. if the place is calm, cool,the boat floats...there is no progress. and yet, who doesnt prefer the gentle wind that doesnt move? who likes storms and tsunamical waves? Its so easy to be peaceful, and to come to a standstill... But what if you know that rocking the boat is the only way to move forward? And you want to move forward, yet you think about the consequences but are afraid?
Microbio, pathp, immuno... I'm stuck now. Shall see how it goes.