Friday, December 14, 2007

Turn my Dissapointment into Joy

I guess I am disappointed. I expected the reply from IMU today,and crossing my fingers that it would be favourable to me...and when I heard that all who applied for pharmacy received conditional offers, a simmer of hope just arose. Maybe, just maybe...

But as my brother went out to take in the post from the postman, and passed it to me, my heart sank as I saw the thin envelope. Somehow the "one piece" of letter I knew wasn't what I hoped for. And the heartbeat that was profuse only moments ago just "died"...

It was like, stone...then I crumbled for a while. Uncontrollable emotions were flowing through, the dashed hope,the flame just sizzled...


But thank God my very best friend also my darling called me. Its times like this that I even more appreciate and feel touched by his unwavering and gentle love. Reminded me that all things will work for good, there are greater things ahead that we don't see. More than anything, he reassured me that he still loves me and would wait for me no matter what. I know I crumbled, I know I felt like giving up,but he did not allow me to. It all seems a little messed up, my train of thought, but so many thoughts are running through my mind...

Dear God, I don't understand. I can't see the hand. And my feelings failed, tempting to pull down my faith as well. But You saw me through the application process. You saw that I reached the minimum requirements to sign up to even be interviewed. And I believe that the interview went well. I believe that You were there all the time, and You are here now.

Thank You Father God that despite all the uncertainty, God You still are unchanging, and You love me. Thank You that I know You have something better in store for me, just like You always do. Thank You so much Dad,that the things that means so much to me, means just even more to You. Thank You that my relationship with Nicholas is still intact, that he still reminds me that he loves me and cares for me , forever. Thats why I'm reassured that this love is genuine, is real, is lasting, is forevermore.I just know. Coz I love Nicholas too. I thank You Dad, that the two most important relationships in my life, with You and with Nicholas just grew stronger, as You pulled me towards You and pulled us towards each other.Father God, I believe that all things work for good for those who love You... You have better plans for me.

And Father God so I surrender all I have and all I am into Your hands, my future, my life my all. Use it for Your glory. Turn my disappointment into something positive. I suddenly remember Sabrina sharing this verse that I've seen before, that "those who sow in tears will reap in joy". It is Your promise. After the rain there is the beautiful rainbow. I'm waiting Dad,expectantly. You can, and You will, intervene in my life, for Your glory. This is my confidence in You God,that You are bigger than the world, bigger than the circumstances, bigger than life,You are a God who does not slumber. And most of all, You are a graceful and loving God who loves the world, and loves me. I love You God,and I trust in You . My future is in Your hands.


Lead me to the rock higher than I....