Monday, March 1, 2010

bummed and goodbyes

I seriously felt really really bummed today. It was just a miss - missing my juniors Co13ra's performance and the ball table arrangement thingy.

I have decided to go for ball. and by some funny co-incidence, I decided I din't need to talk to jade coz I thought we were seated at the back already. If only I had approached Jade earlier. Then I would have saved myself a little bit of heartache of being placed near the pharmacy opposite our batch. that was an ok location I guess. just mad that I wasn't proactive enough.

Then there was dress code ii by my orientation group. Geeks vs freaks. the thing is , a few of us were coming back from MidValley, and the event was supposed to start at 7pm. traditionally, the event never starts early. so we reached back with a few minutes to spare...rushed up to think we had made it....only to find out minutes later that the grand start (our group was the first for the day) had been made.

I was totally bummed. It was really hard for me to stay back for orientation stuffs this time, owing to the fact that I'm semester 5 and that my parents weren't entirely happy (like naturally) ...and the time I actually join them for an event, I just missed it!!The sore spot really egged at my heart and I was really really bummed. Like really really.

But these are little things. And they pass. Today I can cry - and smile in the same day. Because I have much to be grateful for. I have friends I love to bits and would give my life for. I have memories that I will cherish for always. Sometimes people say that 'why get to know people if you know you're only gonna say goodbye? ' I thought bout it so many times before...but I say why not? even if you're gonna know that person for a year or 2. maybe months. maybe days . even if you face the word heart wrenching word of goodbye everyday.

the most sucky part bout a journey is parting. maybe temporary, maybe permanent. but in that precious time, u could gain a friend; you could get to leave a mark / footprint/ legacy in this person's life. You get to love this precious live , and be loved in return. For me at least - that's what I feel.

And if I had a choice between knowing someone a few months and being able to make a difference in the person's life - but face the sucky prospects of partings and teary goodbye's later - or to not go ahead and just stay surface and shallow / dont really get to know the person - I would choose the former. Hurts maybe, but at least I know I've done all I could to make the person's life hopefully a brighter one. To know someone loves and cares for him/ her. To look back one day and say hey, I hope I made this person smile. And that the person might feel like some someone genuinely cared and loved for him/her , no strings attached. At least for a least.

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