Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I thought I was ok

I thought I was ok, sorta settled. Well not exactly. I knew that the feeling , the tears just had to come. Its just a matter of when.

Dad and mom came down for a visit (coz they din't pass me the money the last time they were here). So yeah. And brought along food, a huge lifesaver coz it was house cleaning day and coz our house has a stove but no gas yet.

They just left bout 20 mins ago? And along with the image of them leaving was the stream of tears that I contained till I reached my room. And the "washing machine" is spinning, in Fida's vocab. Till now. Is it a case of homesickness or pms or just pure stress over the last few days... I really don't know.

I din't forsee it being this hard. Well maybe I did, but not like this. My friends just opened my door and saw me. I couldn't say a word,. Its just sobs now. They left me alone, I'm not sure tho if thats the best thing to do.

I think having a heart pumping with fresh blood is both a blessing and a pain - to love  means it hurts no? And when you love you give. Its always an unbalanced equation...

1 comment:

E said...

I wouldn't say I know exactly how you feel. I've had been away from home for a couple of months too. I stayed in Baguio to look for work, and trust me... that gave me a lot of frustration and reasons to be homesick. :)w